Getting help with anxiety information

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Counselling and Psychotherapy

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I help people with Anxiety problems on a daily basis, and I can help you. The page below contains various pieces of information relating to anxiety and why I work on emotion regulation.  Before reading further, let me say this, anxiety can keep you safe.  And too much anxiety can stop you from functioning.

It is my experience that when a person repeatedly experiences stressful situations their anxiety starts to acclimatize to a certain level. This is when it can become problematic and I would urge you to seek help.

Your needs

I am to meet your needs and provide support. A calming empathic experience that will assist you greatly.   Most of all anxious people need to feel safe, safety is what I will offer you when we work together on the anxiety issues you bring.  It’s not easy to take the first step into therapy, simply because that can provoke anxiety.  People have found my therapy practices in Colchester, Sudbury, Frinton, Outside and Online to be very beneficial to them.  I offer a safe supportive experience in which we can explore your anxieties.

This will involve actively engaging in therapy whilst noticing overwhelming feelings.  Noticing these emotions together with bodily experiences and emerging thoughts will help bring you into the present moment.  This is the beginning of being mindful.  Often when we are anxious our mind is either in the future or the past.  Understanding our emotions and using them constructively to change other emotions is also a feature of Emotion Focused Therapy.  Emotion Focus Therapy will help you regulate your emotional experiences.  You will have the opportunity to explore your problems in a safe supportive environment with me.  The choice of what to work on will always be yours.  Contact me by email or phone.

Main information page here


We all have emotions, we were just never taught much about them and how they can help us change our stressful experiences.  Emotions are universal, no matter where they are in the world, you can take a guess at how a person is feeling from facial expression and body language.  Emotions are the language of all human beings in the world.  Your primary adaptive emotions can guide you, the secondary emotions and maladaptive emotions can keep you stuck.  For example, Anger is an emotion that is valid in the right place but sometimes is misplaced or masks other emotions. For example, you could be angry at someone who has made you sad and the anger masks the sadness.

Therapy can be a great calming experience which leads to a greater sense of well-being and further self-development.  Emotions contain useful information that can guide you to the source of anxiety problems.  Going into an emotion can show you the way to leave it.  Emotions

Anger and crying

I think it’s worth highlighting in this article that anger and crying both have links to anxiety, it’s ok, it’s natural it’s a part of the problem.  You might like to look at the other articles on my site.  Anger and Depression.  Crying links to sadness, grief, and loss.  Anger links to boundaries being crossed.  Sometimes the boundaries are personal ideas and sometimes they are boundaries that are imposed by others.  We can even be angry with ourselves for being anxious.

Problematic thinking

When anxious, I hear many people say the words ‘ I think’.  This hints at cognitive rumination.  Constant rethinking is a component of anxiety and a way to avoid your emotional experience.  This makes some sense, nobody wants to feel awful.   But at the same time, overthinking is not a productive method of getting to a better place.  The ‘feelings’ you get are a combination of bodily experience (emotion) and how you think about your bodily experience.  Feelings are your current experience, thoughts are manufactured out of this experience.  Dr. Martin Seligman states ‘Anxiety and Depression are deformations of the future’, projecting scenarios in the future that are detrimental to yourself.

So focusing on emotion is deeper than your thoughts, it’s your physiology in motion (e-motion).  Working with your deeper experiences will bring about change that is long-lasting.

Your emotions will drive the decisions you make today, and your success may depend upon your ability to understand and interpret them.’   Mary C Lamia Ph.D. – Psychology Today

Emotions drive us!  

Just for one moment, you may like to pause and asked yourself two questions.

Has a feeling ever stopped me from doing something?

Has a feeling ever driven me to do something?

The answers to both questions will invariably be yes!  There will be information in the emotion that altered your behaviour.  Emotions came before thought in your development, it was preverbal.  When we were babies we had no words initially.  Our bodily experiences related to our surroundings and caregivers.  That environment began to inform you and shape your identity.  Who you became is a result, in part, of these experiences.  Therapy will help you find the person you want to be and move you on to new positive experiences.  Therapy provides a nurturing environment for self-growth and increased well-being.

Unhelpful life experiences

Traumatic experiences can distort experiences and some people become stuck in one particular emotion.  Even simple things like a minor accident or repeated stressful situations can move you into a position of anxiety.  Anxiety can be triggered in many ways.  Anxiety can take on a life of its own, going round and round.  When you experience anxiety your feelings will be intense.  Additionally, those feelings may not directly match your current situation.  One of the main tasks in my therapy practice is to help you deconstruct responses that are problematic.  This will help you look at what is occurring.  New insights bring about change (dialectical constructivism).

Can working with emotion help my Anxiety?

The answer to this is a simple one, emotion is common to us all and anxiety is common to us all.  The degree to which you experience your anxiety is the biggest difference between you and others.  Some people find the idea of working with emotion difficult, maybe you can’t put a finger on what your current emotions are, but emotions will be there.  So it’s my job to assist you with this. I can help you find how your thoughts and behaviours are being driven by emotions.  Understanding Emotion.

How your body experiences anxiety

Anxiety often causes other symptoms to arise in your body.  One way to understand this is through your biology, the brain permeates your entire body.  What happens in your body affects your thinking and thinking affects your body.   Since our bodies are immersed in an environment, that environment will also affect our body and mind.  For example, when there is a storm you will naturally seek shelter and you know doubt will have thoughts about what could possibly happen in the storm.  Additionally, we get many different bodily symptoms when we experience intense anxiety.  Your thoughts affect your body.   Some of which are, dizziness, tiredness, short breath, excessive sweating, stomach ache, feeling sick, and ‘pins and needles’.

Here is a test from the psychology today site. Test

Paul Berry (MBACP)

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